The Animal Conference would have Cats, Horses & Beasts, Birds, and Air & Sea; the Man-and-Superman Conference would have Big Bosses, Workers, Pillagers, and Other.
UPDATE: Richard wins the thread.
14 of the 32 NFL teams are explicitly named after animals; the Buffalo Bills would be a 15th if you treated buffaloes (as seen on their logo) as their nickname rather than just a pun on the city -- but I couldn't make this exercise work with the Bills as a "buffalo" team.
14 of the 32 NFL teams have distinctly human or super-human logos.
Of the four ambiguities, two are aerial phenomena that it makes more sense to treat as non-human; one (the aforementioned Buffalo Bills) has an animal logo but the name just as clearly pays homage to a person; and the other is a color that was adopted because of the owner's last name.
That there are five birds (not four) makes this less elegant than it would have been, but life goes on. And although you might think the Native America logos belong together, maybe we're better off categorizing them by their nature so that neither of them has to be focused on ethnic caricature.
Without further ado:
ANIMAL CONFERENCE
CATS
Carolina Panthers
Cincinnati Bengals
Detroit Lions
Jacksonville Jaguars
HORSES & BEASTS
Chicago Bears
Denver Broncos
Indianapolis Colts
St. Louis Rams
BIRDS
Arizona Cardinals
Atlanta Falcons
Baltimore Ravens
Philadelphia Eagles
AIR & SEA
Miami Dolphins
New York Jets
San Diego Chargers
Seattle Seahawks
MAN & SUPERMAN CONFERENCE
BIG BOSSES
Kansas City Chiefs
New Orleans Saints
New York Giants
Tennessee Titans
WORKERS
Dallas Cowboys
Green Bay Packers
Pittsburgh Steelers
San Francisco 49ers
PILLAGERS
Minnesota Vikings
Oakland Raiders
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins
OTHER
Buffalo Bills
Cleveland Browns
Houston Texans
New England Patriots
Not surprisingly, you're not the first to attempt this -- see comment 22 here.
I don't see how the Chargers are air or sea; they clearly belong in the Horsie divison.
Posted by: Paul at August 31, 2008 07:03 PMAnd although you might think the Native America logos belong together, maybe we're better off categorizing them by their nature so that neither of them has to be focused on ethnic caricature.
Yes, putting the Redskins in the "Pillagers" division totally makes everyone feel much better...
Posted by: Kubi at September 1, 2008 10:27 AMIt seems historically correct that Chargers are horses. So, swap Chargers and Bears. Then you have:
HOOFED MAMMALS
Denver Broncos
Indianapolis Colts
San Diego Chargers
St. Louis Rams
EATERS OF FISH
Chicago Bears
Miami Dolphins
New York Jets
Seattle Seahawks
Why are the New York Jets fish-eaters? Because they're the natural enemy of the Sharks of course!
Posted by: Richard at September 1, 2008 08:12 PM