So far Deadspin has run at least three editions of "The Dark Side of the Locker Room." One of them was actually quite good: Jeff Passan writing about a Fresno State basketball player whose girlfriend had taken out a restraining order. The other two that I've seen were unbelievably lame, including Jeff Pearlman getting sand in an unmentionable place because how dare Will Clark be mean to him, and then this one.
A few rules of thumb that I would have thought were common sense:
1. Act as though you belong, and other people will act as though you do (the converse is also true)
2. If you're in a locker room, don't stare.
3. Athletes like to yell. (Blame the testosterone, or the greenies.) If they're blatantly just trying to yank your chain, give your chain some slack.
4. Not a rule so much as an observation: I don't for the life of me understand what was wrong with what Piniella did in this anecdote.
Now obviously a feature like this should only get the most extreme stories -- which is all the more reason why I've been transcendently disappointed so far. People will care even less about the run-of-the-mill interactions.
But I'd be willing to be that my favorite Standard-Times writer has at least ten fantastic stories, nine of which he absolutely can't share. And even I have a thoroughly mediocre story from the only professional sporting event I ever "covered" (a basketball game at Boston College almost counts as professional, but not quite).
On January 1, 2000, the Boston Bruins and New Jersey Devils skated to a 2-2 tie. Whoever usually covered Bruins games for SportsTicker was probably off celebrating the holiday.
I got post-game quotes from the visiting locker room by standing near the edge of the throng, but I didn't have any questions that nobody else already asked.
On my way from the press ring to the locker rooms I got lost and accidentally wound up completely outside the stadium. Despite my credential the security people almost didn't let me in, but finally did.
(If they hadn't, the wire service story might have had one or two fewer Martin Brodeur quotes, though life would have continued.)
Posted by Matt Bruce at April 29, 2008 05:04 PMI didn't have any questions that nobody else already asked.
How could you not be the least bit curious as to whether they would come out for the next game and give 100% or 110%?
Posted by: Kubi at April 30, 2008 05:40 AM(what is this with the nakedness?)
Yes, who would ever imagine that persons who are preparing to shower, or just got done showering, would be in a less-than-fully-clothed state.
Maybe the better question is "Are what you are doing so important that you need to 'interview their dongs'?". If not, get out of there. If so, well, believe me, a lot of people have to put up with worse things in their jobs.
Posted by: Kubi at April 30, 2008 05:46 AMI thought it was a funny story.
As I've said before, the only athlete who I can ever genuinely say was an asshole to me was Mark Redman. And even saying that, he wasn't really much of an asshole.
Posted by: Cooch at April 30, 2008 11:32 AM