Fancy Store-Bought Dirt

The FSBD Top 32: Week 13

Let's see whether the Excel cut-and-paste thing still works. For what it's worth I put the Colts back ahead of Green Bay among the teams most likely to lose conference championship games.

There are also some interesting down-ballot comparisons, both what I punted and what I sorted out (or tried to).

After Monday night's game, Patriots will still be #1 no matter what. Ravens could plausibly move up if the game goes down to the wire. Oh my.

32. Miami (0-12) (Last week: 32) Best chance to win. Didn't even come close. (Remaining games: at Buffalo, vs. Baltimore, at New England, vs. Cincinnati)

31. Atlanta (3-9) (Last week: 31) Chris Redman was born in Louisville and played at Louisville. Apparently the 2002 Ravens used him six games. (Remaining games: vs. New Orleans, at Tampa Bay, at Arizona, vs. Seattle)

30. San Francisco (3-9) (Last week: 30) About to play three straight home games. Oh, joy. (Remaining games: vs. Minnesota, vs. Cincinnati, vs. Tampa Bay, at Cleveland)

29. St. Louis (3-9) (Last week: 29) Made it look easy (but against Atlanta it was). (Remaining games: at Cincinnati, vs. Green Bay, vs. Pittsburgh, at Arizona)

28. NY Jets (3-9) (Last week: 28) I still don't understand how that became a 40-13 game. (Remaining games: vs. Cleveland, at New England, at Tennessee, vs. Kansas City)

27. Carolina (5-7) (Last week: 27) That's one way to end a home losing streak. (Remaining games: at Jacksonville, vs. Seattle, vs. Dallas, at Tampa Bay)

26. Cincinnati (4-8) (Last week: 24) Weren't going to win (1 of 2) (Remaining games: vs. St. Louis, at San Francisco, vs. Cleveland, at Miami)

25. Kansas City (4-8) (Last week: 22) Weren't going to win (2 of 2) (Remaining games: at Denver, vs. Tennessee, at Detroit, at NY Jets)

24. Oakland (4-8) (Last week: 26) Hey, two straight wins against bitter conference rivals. (Remaining games: at Green Bay, vs. Indianapolis, at Jacksonville, vs. San Diego)

23. Houston (5-7) (Last week: 16) Sage Rosenfels won't guide you to a playoff berth. (To be fair, he wasn't that bad when they previously lost Schaub.) (Remaining games: vs. Tampa Bay, vs. Denver, at Indianapolis, vs. Jacksonville)

22. Denver (5-7) (Last week: 17) Just lost to the Raiders. Shanahan might be a bit angry about that. (Remaining games: vs. Kansas City, at Houston, at San Diego, vs. Minnesota)

21. Baltimore (4-8) (Last week: 25) So close. (Remaining games: vs. Indianapolis, at Miami, at Seattle, vs. Pittsburgh)

20. New Orleans (5-7) (Last week: 19) Hangover season but still a bit better than their record. Had a great chance today, but somehow lose games like that? (1 of 2) (Remaining games: at Atlanta, vs. Arizona, vs. Philadelphia, at Chicago)

19. Chicago (5-7) (Last week: 20) Hangover season but still a bit better than their record. Had a great chance today, but somehow lose games like that? (2 of 2) (Remaining games: at Washington, at Minnesota, vs. Green Bay, vs. New Orleans)

17. Arizona (6-6) (Last week: 23) What is it about the desert that terrible 49er teams win there, no sweat, but good teams don't? (Remaining games: at Seattle, at New Orleans, vs. Atlanta, vs. St. Louis)

18. Detroit (6-6) (Last week: 13) I keep mentioning this, but if you told a Lions fan in August that they'd go 7-9, wouldn't that be cause for celebration? (To be sure, they're not there yet.) (Remaining games: vs. Dallas, at San Diego, vs. Kansas City, at Green Bay)

16. Washington (5-7) (Last week: 15) RIP. Move on as best you can. (Remaining games: vs. Chicago, at NY Giants, at Minnesota, vs. Dallas)

15. Philadelphia (5-7) (Last week: 12) Second straight game that good-for-nothing backup quarterback choked away with a late INT. Why, the fans out to be outraged. (Wait, what?) (Remaining games: vs. NY Giants, at Dallas, at New Orleans, vs. Buffalo)

14. Minnesota (6-6) (Last week: 21) In a way, that game was a baton passing. (Remaining games: at San Francisco, vs. Chicago, vs. Washington, at Denver)

13. Buffalo (6-6) (Last week: 18) For the first time since Week 1 they faced a team that was neither excellent nor terrible. It happened to be a team distracted by death, in a road game where the storybook ending was for that team to win (and that opponent led a fugly game, 9-2 at the half). But guys named Trent Edwards and Fred Jackson pulled it out. Incidentally, I could not disagree more with Bill Simmons: Playing New England, then at Jacksonville, both without your star halfback, is not "free fall." (Remaining games: vs. Miami, at Cleveland, vs. NY Giants, at Philadelphia)

12. Tennessee (7-5) (Last week: 14) Welcome back Albert (or "Alfred," as a ludicrous SportsTicker wire report inaccurately named you) (Remaining games: vs. San Diego, at Kansas City, vs. NY Jets, at Indianapolis)

11. Cleveland (7-5) (Last week: 9) Not an irresistable force after all, but (if I'm not mistaken) still an If The Season Ended Today playoff team (5-4 conference record versus Tennessee's 4-4). (Remaining games: at NY Jets, vs. Buffalo, at Cincinnati, vs. San Francisco)

10. Seattle (8-4) (Last week: 11) Playoff caliber (but not championship caliber) NFC team that just pulled out a fluky road win against a middling team with interesting flaws. (1 of 3) (Remaining games: vs. Arizona, at Carolina, vs. Baltimore, at Atlanta)

9. Tampa Bay (8-4) (Last week: 8) Playoff caliber (but not championship caliber) NFC team that just pulled out a fluky road win against a middling team with interesting flaws. (2 of 3) (Remaining games: at Houston, vs. Atlanta, at San Francisco, vs. Carolina)

8. NY Giants (8-4) (Last week: 10) Playoff caliber (but not championship caliber) NFC team that just pulled out a fluky road win against a middling team with interesting flaws. (3 of 3) (Remaining games: at Philadelphia, vs. Washington, at Buffalo, vs. New England)

7. San Diego (7-5) (Last week: 7) This whole time they'd had (and will have) a ranking that makes it look like they should have one more win than they do. It almost reminds me of an odd-team-out powermatching anomaly. (Remaining games: at Tennessee, vs. Detroit, vs. Denver, at Oakland)

6. Jacksonville (8-4) (Last week: 6) Losing by three points on the road to a fantastic team is at least a moral tie. (Remaining games: vs. Carolina, at Pittsburgh, vs. Oakland, at Houston)

5. Pittsburgh (9-3) (Last week: 5) Everything squared away with the field now? (Remaining games: at New England, vs. Jacksonville, at St. Louis, at Baltimore)

4. Green Bay (10-2) (Last week: 3) Losing Favre wasn't the end of the world but there's a big difference between Favre at his best and not. Also, on Yahoo! the right abbreviation is GNB: Anything else takes you to a team with nothing but byes, whose next game is at 7 p.m. December 31, 1969. (Remaining games: vs. Oakland, at St. Louis, at Chicago, vs. Detroit)

3. Indianapolis (10-2) (Last week: 4) They're gonna be okay. Only losses this year were a blown lead to the Patriot juggernaut and that weird game at San Diego. (Remaining games: at Baltimore, at Oakland, vs. Houston, vs. Tennessee)

2. Dallas (11-1) (Last week: 2) That turned out a lot closer that I thought it would as of the 27-10 second quarter margin. (Remaining games: at Detroit, vs. Philadelphia, at Carolina, at Washington)

1. New England (12-0) (Last week: 1) Clearly #1 even if they lose Monday. Like the 49ers, inexplicably about to play three straight home games. (Remaining games: vs. Pittsburgh, vs. NY Jets, vs. Miami, at NY Giants)