I'd actually never seen this Onion article before, though this one (actually about Pride parades) is an old chestnut.
See also:
Band Teacher Gay in Retrospect
Gay Couple Feels Pressured to Marry
Denver Optometrist...
Closeted Father Lives Vicariously...
I Can't Seem To Find The Moline Gay District
Area Homosexual Thinks He's Still In Closet
Carload [...] Just Pulled Up To Drive-Thru
(For what it's worth I found the last one by correctly remembering it was set at Hardee's and doing this search. The other obvious way to find it would have involved a search term I'd rather avoid.)
...and finally my all-time favorite, Area Man Experimenting With Homosexuality For Past Eight Years
"But eventually, the strain of the long-distance thing got to be too much. That's why we broke up. That and Michael's inability to keep his cock out of my roommate Bruce's mouth."
Posted by Matt Bruce at June 22, 2007 12:32 PM